Forgive and Forget
by The Evil Twin 413
Summary: She can say that all she wants. He hasn't forgiven, and he will never forget.


It's all but confirmed that LevyxGajeel is going to be a thing. However, I don't think that Gajeel would forgive himself so easily, even if Levy has already forgiven him. So I wrote this.

* * *

Pain blossomed in Gajeel's fist as he slammed it into a wall. He felt a minor glimmer of satisfaction as he saw the red stain the impact had left behind. He deserved much more than a bleeding fist for the shit he'd pulled, but it was a start.

" _What are you talking about Gajeel?"_

No, no, no. The pain was supposed to help him push her away, not bring her closer. Gritting his teeth as he rested his head, Gajeel wondered what he could do for the night until he calmed down. Home wasn't an option. Pantherlily would smell the depressing thoughts (and the blood) rolling off of him long before he reached the front door. They had had that conversation many times before and he didn't care to have it again, not after what happened tonight.

Where then? The guild? No. Definitely not the guild. He wouldn't even think about what him storming out of there must have looked like to them. For being a bunch of idiots who always seemed to be happy, they were pretty damn smart too. Probably already why he'd hightailed it out of there so fast. Also, _she_ might still be there and he was _not_ going to run into _her_ again. Not tonight.

" _Why would I hate you? You're nakama."_

Stop it. Just stop it. He slammed his uninjured hand against the wall near his head. Why should she hate him? Why shouldn't she? He had certainly given her plenty of reasons, plenty of opportunities to do nothing more but to curse him being alive. Hell, he hated himself. Willingly or not, Metalicana was right to leave his worthless ass. Gajeel hadn't deserved him back then and he certainly didn't deserve _her_ now.

" _Forgive and forget, right?"_

No. No forgiving and certainly no forgetting. He was nothing but a pile of worthless scrap, but she was trying to change that, to make him into something that might actually be worth having around it. He wasn't stopping her either. The little shortie had had too much success at finding the cracks in the walls he had built around himself for him to believe that he could make her stay at arm's length. And she wasn't scared of him. Stupid girl.

He had to stop this. Needed to stop torturing himself with pointless thoughts and realize that shit, yeah, this is actually happening, and he needs to deal with it soon. He needs to find a way to bury his heart deep inside himself so that she can't reach it. Because she's dangerous. She'll crack it open like and egg and peer at all the little secrets he has kept inside. She'll look at the things he's done and the things he's thought about doing and will know that there's no saving him. Nakama. He scoffs, shaking his head. Not him. Never him. Juvia was their nakama. She was all smiles and sunshine, a far cry from back in Phantom Lord where she wouldn't even try to quirk her lips upward with all the shitty rain coming down around her. Shit, like hell was going to be jealous over Juvia. That water witch might cause him to rust prematurely, but hell if she wasn't the closest thing to a friend he'd ever had. But she had moved on from those days, had found Fairy Tail and all their damned constant joy and Juvia was better for it. Even the stripper was good for her, though Gajeel was going to kick the ever-loving shit out of him if he didn't sort out his feelings to the girl and make them clear.

Look at him trying to make threats about things he himself can't even stick to. Not when it comes to that bookworm.

" _Are you ok? I'm worried about you."_

He'd have to go back eventually. Have to face either Pantherlily and his instant _knowing_ of what had happened or her and her damned _concern_ that was directed his way. He'd have to go back, but not right now. For now he could just stay here, wrapped up in his own thoughts and that precious memory where she had looked up at him and smiled.

He was screwed.

* * *

So that's it. This was written as a one shot, it'll probably stay as such. Let me know what you think.


End file.
